One Way to Start Loving Your Most Hated Traits

“Aw, geez. Why did I have to get that trait from my grandpap?!”

I looked in the mirror and saw the constellation of moles on my back. Of all the traits to inherit from him, why couldn’t I have silky smooth skin instead?

As I ponder the question, I realize I do share some of my grandfather’s positive traits.

  • I have his calmness
  • His desire to look for the best in others
  • His friendliness
  • His love of reading, learning, and history
  • His ability to share his knowledge with others — he was a teacher, too!
  • (I also fall asleep in public, sometimes in mid-conversation, just like he would.)

But why did I have to get his moles?! Ick. (Also, please don’t let me get his ear hair!)

And then God put this thought in my heart:

What if all those traits—the ones I like and the ones I could live without—are all coded on the same strand of DNA?

What if it’s not an accident that I have his positive qualities and a characteristic I’m not fond of. 

More to the point, what if, when I got the DNA for the personality traits that made grandpap the man I loved so much, the “mole DNA” came along for the ride? What if I couldn’t have acquired his positive traits without also getting this quirk?

It’s a fun theory—even if it may not be scientifically accurate.

What about you?

The next time you notice a physical trait you don’t care for, ask yourself:

  • Who might I have gotten this bit of DNA from?
  • What positive traits did I inherit from them that I might not have if I wished away this unloved characteristic?
  • Does this trait make you love your ancestor any less— or is it just a quirky part of who they are?

The Psalms tell us that, “in a fear-inspiring way, [you are] wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). But it’s good to be reminded of that.

What you perceive as a defect may be part of God’s purposeful design!


  1. Theresa Boedeker

    Kendra, this is an interesting idea. Especially as so many traits have both a positive side and a negative side. It is silly to think we would inherit only the good and somehow none of the bad.

    • Kendra Burrows

      Great point, Theresa! Thanks for sharing your thoughts this morning. 💕


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Hi, I’m Kendra

I help bright, successful over-thinkers change their negative thoughts using Scripture and the science of how God made you.

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