One Way to Start Loving Your Most Hated Traits

I looked at my reflection and saw the constellation of moles staring back at me.

“Aw, geez. Why did I have to get that trait from my grandpap?! Why couldn’t I have gotten some of his good characteristics instead?”

Have you ever wished a similar thing— that you didn’t have your mom’s nose or your dad’s build? If so, you’re not alone.

As I considered my grandfather’s many positive traits, I realized I do share some of them:

  • I have his friendliness and his desire to look for the best in others
  • His love of reading, learning, and history
  • His ability to share his knowledge with others (he was a teacher, too!)
  • I also fall asleep in public, sometimes in mid-conversation, just like he would.

But why did I have to get his moles?! Ick. (Also, please don’t let me get his ear hair!)

And then God gave me a mindset shift:

What if all those traits—the ones I like and the ones I could live without—were all coded on the same strand of DNA?

What if it’s not an accident that I have his positive qualities and a characteristic I’m not fond of?

More to the point, what if, when I got the DNA for the personality traits that made my grandpap the man I loved so much, the “mole DNA” came along for the ride? What if I couldn’t have acquired his positive traits without also getting this quirk?

It’s a fun theory—even if it may not be scientifically accurate.

It’s an interesting question: Would I trade in this “mole DNA” for clear, smooth skin if it meant I also had to give up the positive traits I acquired from him?

Put that way, no. I would not. I like the other characteristics I share with my grandpap too much.

What about you?

The next time you notice a trait you don’t care for — or even when you just don’t feel beautiful — ask yourself:

  • Who might I have gotten this bit of DNA from?
  • What positive traits did I inherit from them that I might not have if I wished away this unloved characteristic?
  • Does this trait make me love my ancestor any less— or is it just a quirky part of who they are?

The Psalms tell us that, “in a fear-inspiring way, [you are] wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). But it’s good to be reminded of that.

What you perceive as a defect could have been part of God’s purposeful design!


  1. Theresa Boedeker

    Kendra, this is an interesting idea. Especially as so many traits have both a positive side and a negative side. It is silly to think we would inherit only the good and somehow none of the bad.

    • Kendra Burrows

      Great point, Theresa! Thanks for sharing your thoughts this morning. 💕


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Hi, I’m Kendra

I help bright, successful over-thinkers change their negative thoughts using Scripture and the science of how God made you.

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