Whether Christmas is your favorite day of the year or you’re just pushing through until it’s behind you, holidays can be stressful. And a whole season of holidays and expectations? Yikes!

So here are some practical reminders to help you get through the season. (They’re linked to classic blog posts in case you need additional encouragement).

1. Remember that you’re not the sum total of your past mistakes—and neither are your family members.
2. Reframe your goals to remind you how you want to feel instead of what you want to do. (Instead of “I won’t get angry at my sister this year” or “I won’t eat dessert”, try “I look forward to feeling peaceful about how I acted” or, “I’ll make healthy food choices so I’ll feel refreshed & confident to take on the day!”)
3. Be sure to celebrate your small victories, those invisible (or internal) achievements like going to bed at a decent hour or not making that snarky political comment— because they’re often the most important ones of all.
4. Be careful that your expectations don’t prevent you from receiving the love others are trying to give—especially if their “love language” is different than yours. (This goes for friends and relatives as well as spouses.)
5. Keep in mind your body’s need for food and rest so you can overcome the grumpies.
6. Let others take responsibility for their own actions. Life is so much easier when you take responsibility only for the things you’re truly responsible for.
7. But also, ask for what you need instead of expecting others to figure it out.
8. Remember that you are more than the roles you play— or the roles you used to play.
9. Plan ahead so that you can maintain your integrity— when you know it’ll feel easier to lie.
10. Take extra good care of yourself if you’re navigating through a particularly hard time.
11. Keep in mind that your worth is not tied to anyone else’s actions.
12. Remember that the most loving thing you can do for others is to be honest with yourself.

And most important during the holiday season, don’t forget to breathe…
Here’s wishing you health and happiness, in this holiday season and beyond!