Small victories is what we call them in our household. Those little (and sometimes not-so-little) things that don’t mean anything to anyone but us.

Not only do we celebrate them, but we share them with each other so we can celebrate them together.

• Dealing effectively with a student issue.
• Not getting rattled during a conversation with a co-worker.
• Checking something off that’s been too long on the to-do list.
• Speaking up when something is bothering us, even if it’s an irrational worry and will make us look like a nutcase. (Tell me I’m not the only one who has irrational thoughts floating around in my brain!)

Small victories are usually internal. Changes in attitude or mental behaviors that no one else can see.

Which is why it’s good to acknowledge them. And to share them with a loved one. Because no one else can see them but you.

No one knows how difficult it was to maintain your cool during that phone conversation. They can just hear your voice calmly explaining. By letting my husband in on the behind-the-scenes, he can celebrate with me. And offer encouragement and reinforcement.

We often get encouragement when we’ve completed a big task. Especially when it appears in a public way.

• Nice article!
• Good job on your concert performance.
• You’ve raised such a pleasant young man.

But it’s the nitty-gritty daily details that need to be fostered and encouraged along the way.

• Nice job not checking facebook before writing!
• Good job practicing your clarinet today when you have so many other things to do.
• Way to go keeping your cool while dealing with the sarcastic-alien-who-has-taken-over-your-son’s body.

Yes, the big things are important and should be celebrated. But it’s the small victories, piled on top of each other, that allow us to eventually reach those milestones.

So get in the habit of sharing your small victories and encouraging the small victories in others.

“I said ‘no’ to a new commitment” may feel silly to celebrate – but this small victory leads to a more peaceful life and is very much worth cultivating.

What small victory can we celebrate with you today?