The most common topic of conversation in our household lately – aside from “Quit ruining the furniture, you good-for-nothing animals!” – is weddings. That would be the case in your house too, if one of you was getting married in seven weeks. {And, by the way, if you had two cats and a dog, none of whom understand the household rule: “he who works, eats.” But I digress.}

With the nuptials approaching, the topic – among everyone who talks to us lately, it seems – is focused around gifts and gift registries and what does the young couple need. A lively on-going conversation has been of whether it is appropriate to ask for (or give) money and gift cards.

This is a sticky topic ranging from Miss Manners’ answer (“No.”) to charging guests to attend the wedding. (Thankfully, that would never occur to this sweet couple, who would be horrified by the thought.) But there is a lot of in-between to discuss and ponder.

As I listened to one such discussion from the other room (I had already participated in several the day before), one thought occurred to me: You can’t be truly grateful for what you have and ask for more at the same time.

Wow.

You can’t be truly grateful for what you have and ask for more at the same time.

Is this true?

My heart keeps nudging, yes.

I am grateful for what I have, but what’s wrong with wanting more?

It’s that but that gets me.

I’ve heard it said that the word but automatically negates the phrase before it.

I love you, but… I like this, but… Thank you, but…

Hmmm.

You can’t truly be grateful for what you have and ask for more at the same time.

This was no longer about the young couple. What do I claim to be grateful for – truly think I am grateful for – yet ask for more?

I am grateful for the cornucopia of food in my refrigerator, but there’s nothing in here I’m hungry for right now.

I am grateful for my body, that it gets me where I want to go, allows me to manipulate objects {yay, opposable thumbs!}, and is strong enough to carry me through each day. But it would be nice if my muscles weren’t sore, if my thumbs didn’t hurt so much, if I were a little stronger.

Don’t even get me started about my spongy tummy.

Or my belongings.

Or my family members’ habits.

You can’t truly be grateful for what you have and ask for more at the same time.

As I ponder this months later, I’m not sure if it’s true. I want it to not be true. But I suspect part of it is.

We want to eat our cake and have it, too. To be counted as thankful, but to complain as well.

I need to work more on being grateful in all circumstances (1 Thess 5:18, Phil 4:12). Not just grateful but… but truly grateful.

I’m not sure how to do this. It is a powerful human tendency to see the negatives of our situations. And to some extent, that is the basis of our progress as a civilization.

Without someone saying, this life thing is good, but I wish it were warmer, we might not have discovered fire.

I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t set goals or make progress – individually or as a society.

But I need to be more mindful of being truly grateful for what I have. Which includes watching out for those buts, spoken or implied.

Dear Heavenly Father, put in me a grateful spirit and nudge me to notice my buts so I can turn my thinking around and learn to be grateful in all circumstances. Through Your Son, Christ Jesus, I pray. Amen.