Do Easy Decisions Make You Feel Dumb? You’re Not Alone

frustrated woman

How can this be? I’m a bright girl. I have lots to say. Some might even argue, “too much to say.” <ahem>

So why can’t I decide what to write about?!

I get so frustrated with myself.

This should be an easy decision. 249 ideas float through my head, and my task: choose one to turn into a blog post. It took less time to choose my son’s name.

This isn’t the only decision I’ve had difficulty with; in fact, I have a history of poor decision skills.

But at times I’ve made great decisions with speed and courage.

So why can’t I decide this one thing?

Do you ever ask yourself the same question? Or am I the only one who feels like a freak of nature who didn’t get the “Decision Maker Gene”?

You’re not alone.

Yep, we could hold meetings. Big ones.

“Hi, I’m Kendra and I have trouble making decisions.”

Hi, Kendra.

When I asked my Facebook friends what they have trouble deciding, their responses fell between whether to change jobs and what to wear.

Their most-cited difficult decisions?

  • When to ask for help
  • When to put their own needs ahead of others’
  • What to cook for dinner

WOW.

I’m not alone.

And here I felt dumb – and frustrated with myself – because I couldn’t decide something so simple.

But these are all bright people. They’re accomplished and sociable. They don’t seem like choices confuse them. They’re just like you, and me.

And when they can’t decide, they feel dumb, overwhelmed, frustrated, confused, anxious, or afraid. Sound familiar?

Ah, yes! We’re not alone. Let’s breathe that in together and give a sigh of mutual relief.

Ahhhh…

With evidence that I’m not alone, my curiosity peeks through: Why do people who can otherwise take care of themselves – and make great choices, with ease, every day – become paralyzed over some common decisions?

I put on my researcher hat.

There has to be a reason so many of us bright, independent individuals have difficulty with decisions.

More to the point, there must be an easier way to formulate a decision. Right?

You may be tempted to buy another book (or eight…) and hope wisdom will sink in once and for all.

But let’s face it, the book-hoarder approach doesn’t always work. If it did, my bookshelves wouldn’t be overfull — and I’d always eat healthy food, I’d never misunderstand my husband, and I’d be the picture of grace and calm as our kids navigate the teenage and young adult years.

Okay, books aren’t the answer. But the knowledge they provide, of how God created our bodies and brains to work, can be part of the solution.

So how do you move forward when you can’t decide?

I know what you don’t need to move forward —

  • harsh judgment – from yourself or anyone else
  • a buffet of new information – you’ve got your own tower of books piled beside your reading chair
  • the Ultimate Plan to Decide Anything – that’d be nice, right? But you suspect the perfect plan doesn’t exist

Here’s what you do need – what each of us needs – to decide —

  • a friend who celebrates your small victories and reminds you you’re not alone
  • bite-sized nuggets of knowledge to nudge you forward in love
  • regular reassurances that God’s in control and His is the Ultimate Plan

Over the next several weeks, I’ll help you decode your brain’s decision process so you can discern and discharge your next right step. For instance, I’ll share information such as:

Right here. In this space. With you.

By the way, pretty sly how I decided what to write about, eh? Plus I have my posts planned for several more weeks. Genius!

To make sure you get these bite-sized decision-making delicacies delivered right to your inbox as soon as they’re available each week, sign up below — and learn to take control of your own decision-making process.

 

2 Replies

  1. Great post, Kendra! Look forward to your series.

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