The what-ifs cloud my mind and can take over if I’m not careful. And sometimes I’m not.
- What if that silence means he doesn’t love me anymore?
- What if he’s not being honest about his feelings?
- What if he doesn’t find me attractive?
They start as an imperceptible dot on too-ripe fruit but grow until my mind is engulfed in moldy thinking.
So I need to guard my mind.
But how?
The Apostle Paul tells us: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:6-7)
The peace of God will guard my heart and mind if I pray. And petition God. And be thankful.
I need to change those what-ifs to thank-yous.
What if he doesn’t love me anymore?
Thank you, God, that my husband loves me and that I have the opportunity to love him. I know you will show me the evidence of his love if I am alert to your Holy Spirit’s promptings. Guide me to show him love even when my moldy mind is unsure of his feelings for me.
What if he doesn’t find me attractive?
Thank you, Heavenly Father, for this man you have given me. I am his and he is mine. Help us to delight in each other. Help me to see myself through his eyes and not through the filter of magazine covers and movie starlets. Show me his attraction to me and keep me from belittling it with dismissive thoughts.
What if he gets tired of me?
Thank you, Jehovah, for giving me a partner to spend time with. Help me manage my schedule so that I have the energy to undertake new adventures with my sweetie. Help us grow together in amazing ways that will keep our marriage alive and free from boredom.
What if he’s upset with me?
Thank you, Lord, for this beautiful gift of relationship. My husband knows me better than any other human and he wants the best for me. Thank you for using him to help me see my flaws so that, over time, I may become more Christ-like. Without someone so close to me, I would be filled with pride and have difficulty seeing where I fall short.
But of course, the what-ifs invade every part of my life, not just my marriage.
- What if I’m not an effective teacher?
- What if people don’t like me?
- What if my house doesn’t sell? What if it does? (Can you say neurotic?)
The verse in Philippians reminds me to give thanks in every situation.
May “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding…guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Like most people I have a running list of what ifs. Some of them include:
–What if I MS runs out of control and I end up in a wheelchair.
–What if my family member relapses.
–What if my Mom gets too sick for me to care for her.
–What if something happens to my hubby. How can I care for myself.
–What if my life doesn’t matter and or what I do isn’t making a difference.
And those are only a few of the crazy weeds growing in the garden of my heart. Like you, I know the Scripture well. I’ve taught on Phil 4 multiple times. It all comes down to the practice. The actually act of gardening.
Some days I tend to my thoughts. Other times they run wild. But I do try, with the help of the Holy Spirit to manage them. This garden analogy works so well because we all know what happens when those noxious plants that are good for nothing grow wild and out of control. The work is even harder then.
This is another great post and a good reminder to tend to our thoughts because they do affect our actions and ultimately our destination.
You are so right, Melinda! It can be so difficult to tame those what-ifs (an on-going weeding process) but ultimately we know that even if the what-ifs coem to pass, God will be there for us and get us through that too. You have so much on your plate. Do take care of yourself!
Currently, it’s what if I’m not mentally stable enough to return to teaching every day? I have this loan…. But then I am being reminded that the Lord has told me that He will take care of it. And I don’t have to make that decision anytime soon.
Good for you, Elisa! God will provide – in His time and in His way.