Decision Making and Reasoning: D

I’d been nervous to show mom my not-so-stellar freshman grades. I’d expected lectures and disappointment. But I hadn’t expected laughter.

So. Much. Laughter.

“That’s our Kendra – she failed ‘decision making’!”

My efforts to explain that the course wasn’t a how-to so much as a how-do — as in, how do humans make decisions — went unheard in the frivolity over my bad grade.

I eventually mastered the material. In fact, I teach some of it each year to my own students. But I still have difficulty making decisions.

As I tried to come up with a daily routine {you know, once and for all}, I pondered the list of things I want to accomplish each day.

Bible reading and quiet time, exercise, writing, reading.

Learning (and implementing) new information about blogging and social media.

Making and eating nutritious meals {yes, at times I need reminders to eat – another reason I get made fun of mercilessly}.

And that is all before the day begins.

There are work chores and home projects and spending time with loved ones and necessary beauty regimens {does a shower count as a “beauty regimen”?}

Unlike the stereotypical pre-teen, I can never claim to be bored. I am blessed with so many options, so many things I want to do (and some things I need to do) that I can’t seem to fit them all in.

A rational person {do any of those truly exist outside the land of fairies and unicorns?} would recognize her limitations and exclude some activities.

But I failed Decision Making and Reasoning, remember?

I get stuck. Which do I choose? How do I prioritize?

It’s hard to give up Bible reading and study. It feels like saying no to God. Which is easy – God isn’t standing there with a forlorn look on his face, distraught that there is no one else to commandeer the bake sale – but ultimately convicting. Isn’t spending time in His Word for a few minutes the very least I can do each day? And the answer comes back with a resounding, Yes! It is the very least you can do.

Oh.

But also we’re supposed to treat our bodies well. I’m not entirely sure that includes supermodel workouts and 4-minute planks, but my body works better when I exercise a bit. And if my husband finds me cuter, that’s certainly not a bad thing {does it also count as “working on our relationship?”}

Then there are long-term and momentary projects, deciding which things are selfish and which things help me to do life with someone else.

But how to decide?

Oh. You thought I’d have an answer? My bad.

After 40+ years of deciding, through various seasons and changes, I still don’t have a firm plan.

But it’s a little like tending the garden.

At our house, we plant only things that make us smile. And the more work required, the more it better make us smile. Because there will be light weeding and fertilizing.

But there will also be major overhaul days, when the weeds are insane or the deck needs to be stained or we need to transfer twenty six and a half cubic yards of bark-o-mulch from the driveway to the back yard {did I mention it’s all uphill, and includes fourteen steps?}

Some days deciding really is a matter of doing the thing that’s right in front of you, fluctuating between picking small weeds now or letting them pile up until a big weeding day is necessary.

And some days you find, in the midst of tending the garden, that you accomplish several goals at once. It turns out hauling bark-o-mulch, besides working on our literal garden, is a great way for hubby and me to spend some time together. And the workout is amazing!

I still don’t have a daily routine. Or even, some days, a plan for my life. But I’m learning to be more comfortable with that. With doing the thing that’s right in front of me and hoping the important things get done.

In fact, I was even feeling good about it until I realized I’m about to make popcorn at 11:00 at night because I forgot to eat dinner. Oh well.

How do you decide on a daily routine, or prioritize tasks? I’d love to hear your thoughts. {No, seriously.}